I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
