u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
