shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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