Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
