Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
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