Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
