Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
