Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
