just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
