so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
