do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
