oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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