You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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