I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
