just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
