idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
