Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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