really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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