help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
