Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
