I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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