omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
