what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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