I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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