So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
