you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
