So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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