My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
We named our party play list daddy issues
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
