I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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