She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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