You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
