I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
