I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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