Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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