So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
