pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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