Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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