Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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