i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
