So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You ate ashes out of my bong
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
