don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
