I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
