I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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