Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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