just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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