Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize