hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
