I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
