Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
