Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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